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Twin Flames: my perspective

Google twin flames and you’ll be rewarded with a sea of websites, thousands of images of star-crossed lovers entwined in romantic embrace, questions upon questions on Quora from lost and confused individuals struggling to make sense of the nonsensical scenario they think they find themselves embroiled in, tales of runners and chasers, energy readings galore from so called experts and more. It’s a mess or, as someone wise once said to me, a load of drivel.

Today I tried hard to find some sense amongst the mess; something which summed up neatly all I myself think I know and understand about this phenomenon. And I failed. That’s not to say there isn’t sense out there, there absolutely is, but it’s lost in the waves. What I did find is clarification of how difficult this journey is to navigate and document and how little is known. What struck me is how easy it is to drown. Which I suspect is critical to the journey in and of itself. We must find our own authentic voice and learn to trust our own inner knowing. And as anyone who has dipped their toes in this sea of expanded consciousness will know, everyone has their own truth. What it’s led me to do, which I suspect is why I couldn’t find the perfect answer, is to realise I need to try and add my own voice to the others and to pen my own understanding of it to fling into the ocean. Perhaps it will be gobbled up by the fishes or perhaps it will grow some sails. Either way it will serve to give meaning and make sense of the last five years of my life and I will have something I can hand out, by way of an explanation, whenever I find myself faced with the formidable task of trying to explain where I am and what I’m going through to anyone not already embroiled in this confounding, transforming and amazing journey.

What the f**k is a twin flame?

The answer I got when I asked the internet this very question (minus the f**k) is this:

Twin flames, also called twin souls, are literally the other half of our soul. We each have only one twin, and generally after being split, the two went their separate ways, incarnating over and over to gather human experience. This concept isn’t new, although the language around it is.

This idea of one soul being split into two is a common belief and features in the introduction for many of the websites I’ve encountered. There is also plenty of equally verdant criticism of the concept, one educated author of an intelligent, scientifically swayed website I read today had argued that it was scientifically impossible. An argument that, whilst reading it, seemed entirely reasonable.

I must admit that this is one of the aspects of the journey where I’ve had to accept that I just don’t have the answer. It’s too far from any area of expertise or frame of reference I’ve encountered in my previous years. And so, as is also part of this journey, I’ve had to accept that while I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. If anything, it demonstrates the depth of confusion anyone who finds themselves on this journey is likely to face. However, what is helpful from this description is that it gives form to the idea that this person who has entered your life and turned it completely upside down and inside out, is you in another body. And embodying that understanding is what I’ve found most helpful in navigating this experience in order to get to a place where I feel I can possibly contribute something sensible. From my perspective at the very least.

My perspective, based on my direct experience:

My twin soul is another being, incarnate on this earth, with the exact same energy frequency as me. He has the same unique soul energy signature, the same energetic resonance (tone), as my own. The twin flame is an energy which is activated within us when we encounter and recognise our twin. From my perspective this happens when both twins are ready to embrace the challenges that encountering your twin will trigger in each of you.


From my experience there are three main phases:

1. Initiation: The twins meet and recognise each other at a soul level. A relationship may begin during this stage.

2. Healing: All shadows, all learned paradigms and all unhealthy and self-serving habits will be revealed to be healed and cleared. This brings both twins back to a place of unconditional love for themselves and their twin and puts them in a state of ‘oneness’. This usually involves periods of separation as it is really only possible to achieve this alone.

3. Union: Both twins know themselves and see themselves fully and are ready to embark on a partnership which builds on all they have learned alone. This begins within, union of self. As within, so without.

Features of the journey:

• The most significant aspect of the twins’ relationship in the healing phase of their partnership is the clarity of the mirror that exists between them. What each twin sees in the other and their behaviour, reflects all they cannot see within themselves. This arises to be finally seen and healed so the twins can unite from a place of purity and wholeness. With an awareness of themselves and their shadow they will be able to create consciously rather than unconsciously from the shadow. This will ensure a solid relationship and foundation of unconditional love to enable them to unite and relate in such a way that each are mutually supported and able to grow together.

• The stories and challenges of life experienced by the twins before connecting will be both similar and opposite in many ways and will occur simultaneously in each of their lives. The challenges that arise between them due to the mirror will likely be a repeat of similar stories they have each experienced prior to meeting each other. This is in order to finish those cycles and end those lessons together.

• During the healing phase the twin that isn’t awakened to the connection will be mostly unaware and unable to relate to the connection felt by the conscious twin. There will be a polarity of the experience. This allows for the twin that is aware of the connection to face and heal the feelings of abandonment and separation experienced due to duality. The feelings of unconditional love experienced by the twin aware of the connection mirror the connection with source love. As such, in separation they feel abandoned by God.

What’s their purpose?

Healing. Strip off all the layers of the onion till we can see our twin clearly in the mirror. Minus the fear and the hurt. With pure unconditional love. And when we can see our twin in this way, with this level of awareness, we can see ourselves. Love ourselves unconditionally and without fear.

Transformation: Shine light on all the hidden aspects of self, all the pain and trauma. All the accepted and learned false paradigms. Turn ourselves inside out so all is visible. And in doing so strip us back to the pure self, one that’s capable and willing to dive into a relationship born of unconditional love. Where there’s no fear in communicating our true self; of being truly seen, naked.

Unconditional love: To be seen we must have seen ourselves. To be able to love unconditionally we must be able to love ourselves in that way first. We must expose ourselves to scrutiny. The twin flame mirror shows us everything within that we cannot see and cannot face. If we are willing to look. To see past the pain and understand what it’s showing us. If we are brave, we can use every experience we have, every interaction or lack of interaction, to light up our shadow and lead us back to the truth of who we are.

The Twin Flame Journey is the journey of the mystic and the path leads the protagonist through their own darkness and to the light in the core of their being. It’s an inner quest perfectly designed to allow you to follow the breadcrumbs back to you. It teaches you to be your own saviour.

To me the following makes some sense of the dynamic of the connection:

Question: What Is Quantum Entanglement?

Answer: Quantum entanglement is one of the central principles of quantum physics, though it is also highly misunderstood. In short, quantum entanglement means that multiple particles are linked together in a way such that the measurement of one particle’s quantum state determines the possible quantum states of the other particles. This connection isn’t depending on the location of the particles in space. Even if you separate entangled particles by billions of miles, changing one particle will induce a change in the other! Even though quantum entanglement appears to transmit information instantaneously, it doesn’t actually violate the classical speed of light because there’s no “movement” through space.

A succulent
Embody your best self

My advice for those who find themselves on the twin flame journey:

1. Find your own truth: Learn to listen to yourself and to find your own guidance. Everyone is different and as such everyone’s experience will be different. You will have a different truth to everyone else talking about this so find your own.

2. It's a process, follow it: Use what you know of the experience to teach you. Focus on you and not them. Use the experience they are giving you and what they’re showing you to understand yourself. You only have power over yourself, you can only change yourself. If you’re curious about what is happening to you and why then you will start to learn about yourself and uncover your true self.

3. It's all for you: You have chosen to undertake this journey. You know you are capable. You know it is for your good. And you know how to navigate it without it being painful and difficult. Tap into your self and when it gets hard and you don't know where to go, ask your self for help. You have everything you need.

The true aim of this journey is to allow you to embody your best self, to become all you can be, and to create the world you want for yourself. What that looks like is up to you.


11:11 on the background of a red rose
An awakening journey

On a personal note: I have walked this path and have reached a place where I am at peace and in love in my every day. I stopped focusing on a physical relationship with my twin as being the ultimate destination a long while ago, when I really embodied the truth that my transformation into being who I am and showing up authentically for myself as my best self is the purpose of the journey. I trust that if there is any truth to any of this, and I have let go of the need to know any of that, that a desired physical relationship will begin when the time is right for us both and I am at peace with that. My life is full of meaning and purpose and I wake up every day excited at what it will bring.

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